Making the connection

I heard an interesting statistic that 40% of Americans have no close friends and often feel lonely. Although these days we can text message, instant message, and email with some many devices to stay in touch, it seems few of us are making the connections so important to the soul. We are often arrive at work in the dark and leave in the dark. By the time we get home we are often too tired to do anymore than collapse in bed. We live hundreds of miles from family because of work or other obligations and thus cut ourselves off from what is often the center of our lives.

It's never easy to make time for ourselves. Somehow that seems like a guilty pleasure in our stress driven lives. Some people can't even enjoy their vacations, when they do manage to take them. Trust me all work and no play really does make Jack a dull boy.

But what can you do if you don't want to go on the blind date with the three time divorced guy your mother wants to fix you up with because his toupee is creepy? You may have reached your breaking point with neurotic women who reply to your online personal ad, and during dinner has her cellphone strapped to her face and chews with her mouth open. YIKES! Maybe you're just not ready to date.

There are so many ways to make a new circle of friends. I like to think back to the time when parties were real social gatherings and not occasions to network. Ok, I'm old fashioned but it comes in handy. One idea that comes to mind is have a singles dinner (there's a reason why I'm focusing this on singles). Find a few singles at work. Invite an equal number of males and females. Then ask each to bring 1 friend. It doesn't have to be a fancy affair, it could be a very simple spread. If push comes to shove call your favorite take out place and pick it up on the way home. There is one rule- work is not the topic of conversation.

Ok maybe you're a terrible cook like me but you still want to get out and meet people. In many major cities, colleges and universities often have adult education classes. These are usually non credit classes that take place for a few hours during the week or on a weekend. They can offer a huge range of classes to choose from. Not only is it a great way to expand your horizons, it's also a chance to meet people.

Grab the newspaper! Lots of cities have the regular paper and sometimes even free papers that list social clubs. Your favorite hobby can be a great way to meet others with similar interests. Join a running club or ski club or even a music or book club. I know when I lived in Atlanta there were wine tasting and restaurant clubs.

Sometimes it seems technology can keep us apart instead of bringing us closer together. We all need to be in the company of others. It is the best nourishment for our well being and adds balance to our lives.

Research project needs your input

I promise this will be the only time I will cross post. I need to reach as many people as possible for this. It would be great to have input from all over the US and internationally. Let your friends know. The more the merrier.

Send me an email with the information to 21stcenturyvixen@earthlink.net. The parameters are simple:

Tell me about 3-5 places in your town/city that you would take a visitor to. Include their location. They do not have to be the regular tourist attractions.

They can be any of the following:

Night club
Art gallery
Amusement park
Museum
Theater
Guided tours
Store (clothing, etc)
Local event
Festivals

If there's something I haven't thought of or something that is unique to your locale, by all means submit it.

Being there

Sometimes it’s hard to be in the present. We all have baggage. Some of
us have little change purses, some of us have that 16 piece matching
set of Louis Vitton luggage. We can take it with us every where and
into every situation. It can be so difficult to put the bags down and
let them go.

But it can be done. It doesn’t have to be done all at one time either.
It’s a slow painful process that doesn’t have to take a lot of energy.
Sometimes all it takes is opening each bag and examining the contents.
If it’s something you can use, then keep it. If it’s something that is
just holding you back, then get rid of it. It just doesn’t make sense
to hold on to anything that isn’t benefiting you as a person.

More importantly is being in the now. Enjoying the moment is the best
way to leave the baggage behind. There is nothing wrong with reliving
memories, but pick the nice ones, the healthy ones. Choose the ones
that bring a smile to your face, not a wrinkle to your brow. Then you
will find your load lightening because you are no longer weighed down
by those things in your past just taking up room in your life.